This morning I was up early despite the bitter cold. I had an appointment for lab work at the new medical practice we have signed up with. Our primary physician surprised us by retiring early at the end of 2023 so we had to search for someone new who was willing to take on older patients. Shortly after 9:30 AM I was on my way home again, craving coffee mostly as I had fasted for 12 hours for the blood draw. I considered a coffee shop, a quick breakfast place, or perhaps a grocery store stop for a few items for the veggie stew I'll be making today. I even considered a stop at T.J. Maxx as I passed by and recalled how I used to enjoy shopping, or rummaging through, in my younger days!
But I didn't stop anywhere because I longed to just be home. I took the more scenic drive through quieter streets and it reminded me of what driving used to be like just about everywhere. Now the main thoroughfares are horrific and I no longer feel safe on them. The houses are changing, small ones being replaced by new builds far too big for the average homeowner or family. Not much garden surrounds them for children and dogs to play in, it's all about the house. The gardens have very little color right now but they are still lovely in their winter neutrals, especially in the sunshine. The bird baths, frozen and sparkling, still entice the birds, and I splash mine with warm water on these cold mornings as the sparrows, finches and others sit quietly in the fig tree waiting to drink.
Yes, I did say my younger days because quite honestly I'm feeling different lately and I believe it's due to aging. I used to do so much more with my time. I have now slowed down somewhat. You may recall that I've loved taking candid photos of women when traveling. I feel strongly about women and their place in this world of ours, a world getting harder for so many, when it should be better, easier, safer.
Over the years I've taken many photos of women whose lives are much different than my own and I often go back into my photo archive, or revisit blog posts where they were featured, looking at these photos wondering if things have changed for them. Most seemed happy as they went about their daily lives..........but of course they, like me, are much older now.
Kerala, India
Chiang Mai, Thailand
Cochin, India
Kerala, India
London, England
Moscow, Russia
Hue, Vietnam
Niigata, Japan
Saigon, Vietnam
Hoi An, Vietnam
Zambia, Africa
Zambia, Africa
Laayoune, Western Sahara, Africa
Western Sahara, Africa
Sao Nicolau, Cape Verde Islands, West Africa
. . . . . .and here we are, in the second half of January already. Our plans for this year are not quite etched in stone however we do have a list. The house needs some TLC including a replacement roof and we're busy getting estimates. As always, it's like comparing apples to oranges when you place said estimates next to each other. Daring young men clamber across the shingles, balance on the ridge vent, mark patches with chalk, and one flew a drone over the house last week. It hit a tree and fell on the front steps. He requested 'super glue' but that didn't work. He returned yesterday with a new drone which did a good job. Maybe we'll get that roof when the weather warms up.
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Oh Mary, this aging thing is not easy. However much I want to be active I know that I have slowed down. Your photos of ladies are so interesting. Have you thought of making a book on the subject of women round the world?
ReplyDeleteBarbara dear, I've been considering a book for years but like most things these days never get around to completing anything so complicated! Have you seen how many books are published annually - unbelievable and I wouldn't know where to start, haha!
DeleteYou are a gifted photographer - you did your subjects proud. Your comments on current state of mind, generally ill and tired feelings hit home with me. I hate traffic, change and new situations that I must adapt to. At 78, perhaps it's time for me to think about Independent Living in a Senior Community. However, the mechanics of making that happen seem daunting. Hopefully, we are merely experiencing seasonal light deprivation sadness and will be our old selves when better weather returns. Stay well and count blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you Eileen, very kind of you. I know just how you feel and I am 80 which I still can't believe! We went to supper recently with friends who had moved into a retirement community. It was lovely except it was full of old people (my 84 y.o. husband's view)!!!! My friend, a retired psychiatrist who was also my boss years ago, said she felt it was rather like being back at boarding school in France.......or a cruise which never ends as they eat all their meals in a dining room!
DeleteAlso, I took a lovely candle as an apartment-warming gift and discovered they are not permitted to burn candles - I'd never be able to live like that!
Mary -
Mary, your pictures are National Geographic-worthy! Simply stunning. At almost 63, I am lucky that I feel even more energized than I did in my 20's! I think it's because I am retired, and not actively parenting or working, and therefore my whole day is mine. Back then, I ran like the wind day and night, and rarely rested, being pulled from pillar to post. I am far more protective of my time these days, and anything that seems like more effort than I care to exert just does not happen, which must be why I feel more energized! Loud concerts with crazy traffic and parking? Nope. Driving anywhere at night, or going out at night? Not often! Shopping on weekends? Never! I am fortunate and appreciative that my life is such that I can make those kinds of decisions.
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind to say that Karla - I've never thought of myself a very good portrait photographer but have to admit these are quite good when I look back. Of course my subjects were beautiful to begin with!
DeleteI'm with you on night driving hazards, and now stay away from Costco on the weekends as it's a madhouse!
I enjoyed reading this post Mary - you have successfully hit the nail on the head in many areas of concern. I suspect the countless happenings that have taken place over the last three years haven't helped.
ReplyDeleteDelightful photographs of some lovely ladies from around the world - the lady from Kerala looks very graceful as she carries out her working tasks.
Hope that you are happy with your new medical practice. It is difficult when you have been with someone else for many years.
I really am missing having opportunities to take more photos of people around the world Rosemary. Travel to the 'wild places' are just wonderful memories now and I doubt I'll be going back.
DeleteYes, we are comfortable with the new practice so far. . . . . . .and I was definitely pleased with the lab results which came through so quickly. Guess I'm doing something right regarding my general health. Off to make my porridge now!!!
Exquisite photography, Mary! I also wonder about them in today's world ..... thank you so much for sharing. Not certain I have shared already ... my son Louis purchased a lovely home in Winston-Salem. Cannot wait to visit this summer. It is huge and he is one person which always puzzles me .. the needing space thing. But he has been that way forever and at age 63, it's not going to change, LOL. Like you, I am more and more content sticking close to home. My son Carl who is special needs and I have lived in Bend nineteen years, I cannot imagine moving at the ripe old age of 83 this year. He is still working at a supermarket within walking distance, my friends live close by, we live in a vital neighborhood close to restaurants, pubs, concerts, parks, grocery, pharmacy. My daughter lives 1.6 miles away! Traveling occasionally will have to suffice along with the many many memories, like you, I have of the places round the world I've traveled. Stay warm, dry, healthy and happy.
ReplyDeleteI think you will like Winston-Salem when you visit Helen. You and Carl sound quite settled and happy in Bend - I've not been there but always heard nice things about that area. Thankfully we each have our great memories of those worldwide trips we took - they are a lot of hard work now though!
DeleteMay this be a great year for you dear, stay well, be happy.
Mary -
Your photos of women around the world are marvelous, Mary. You have such an eye for catching expressions and postures. I second Barbara's suggestion of a making a book.
ReplyDeleteAging isn't easy. I still feel so young, but my body just can't keep up. And yet I am so grateful for the energy and strength that I do have. It's okay to slow down, I think. Stay well.
Thank you Lorrie - you are always so kind. Yes, I feel young in my mind but can't do the physical things as well now - always that concern about falling and breaking something - altho' my bones appear quite strong.
DeleteYour photos are great, and especially the last one and the next-to-last one are works of art!
ReplyDeleteAs for slowing down with age, I suppose that is entirely natural. For some, the approach is "I can now lean back a bit and relax, leave the hectic and hyper-active lifestyle to younger people." For others, it may be a painful realisation - often accompanied by physical pain - that they simply can not do all the things they used to do.
As I often remark, being young is not a merit. But living to old age, and with joy and dignity (if possible), is a great achievement one should be proud of.
Thanks Meike. I like to think we are blessed with the first of your views about reaching old age. . . . . .especially leaving the hyper-active lifestyle to younger people! Funny thing is I personally don't miss most of it ~ just enjoy doing what's possible at this point and hoping we can stay in good health and are able to move well without pain.
DeleteI love your images of women creating objects with their hands. Yes the women were possibly exploited by their husbands and bosses, but imagine the satisfaction in using or selling perfect objects.
ReplyDeleteI'm just hoping all those lovely ladies are still enjoying life - a different kind perhaps but what they seemed to be enjoying when I captured those images.
DeleteHello Mary! I guess you’re as young as you feel…but it’s not always easy to feel that young, is it? Right now, it’s freezing cold here and we’ve stayed at home, meaning we aren’t that active, which isn’t good! I felt quite an old crock when I finally got to go out today with my daughter, for coffee and a long natter! But it did make me feel human again, having said that! I hope that you get your renovations sorted soonish! We have a few things to do but mostly outside jobs! Hope that you are both keeping well, Mary! Love, Sal 😁
ReplyDeleteSal dear, you are so amazing doing all you do - especially in the garden. We are managing but have a lot of projects on our 'to do' list for the coming months.
DeleteI enjoyed your photos and rejoice in the variety of clothing and faces you captured around the world. Wishing peace and happiness for all.
ReplyDeleteThanks Eileen. Peace and happiness would be wonderful - why can't the powers that be get that!!!!!
DeleteHello Mary, these are all beautiful portraits. Like you, I wonder how these women are doing today and what their lives are like. So many unknown stories. You certainly do have "the eye" for capturing people with your camera, and not just people, but everything! Sara (hooray, I can finally leave a comment!!)
ReplyDeleteGlad comments are working for you now Sara. I miss traveling to those awesome places and just hope those women are well and happy.
DeleteDear Mary, your photos are wonderful, and I especially enjoyed the ladies from Africa, and admire you for having travelled to these countries. You have touched a chord with me, too, about previously doing so much more with our time, and preferring to be home rather than out driving at night. The world has changed very quickly since 2020 and the arrival of the Pandemic. I think I am feeling my age (77) but also in Australia there are shortages, queues, and other expectations of us as patients and consumers in the world. All take up precious time. We love our house and garden - alas, the same homes are being built here now, large houses on small lots, no garden and almost no safe space for children to play. Our grandchildren love to come here to visit :) xxx
ReplyDeleteHi Trish - all you mention here is so true. Life has changed drastically and those pandemic years really took a toll on me - and now being 80 I feel so much more comfortable just staying close to home. Although I miss seeing so much in other countries, I have no great desire to travel constantly. I do enjoy looking back through the blog though and find it was a great way to archive those photos! Sounds like Australia is similar to here regarding the houses - and the prices are so high here we can never understand how the young people buying them can afford such huge mortgages......and why they require so much space!
DeleteSending hugs dear. Stay well and happy.
Breathtaking photographs of women Mary in such different worlds to mine. Do you know, I have never really liked T K Maxx { it's T K Maxx over here for some reason ! } There is so much stuff and most of it is on the floor ! It puts me off !!! One more thing, I read today that, if you put a ping pong ball in the bird bath, it stops it freezing over { don't know if it works but it could be worth a try }
ReplyDeleteLots of love and a big hug to you both. XXXX
Hi dear Jackie.
DeleteCold here, and a sad thing happened - woke this morning to find my lovely blue ceramic bird bath had frozen solid and the bowl broke in half! Odd as it's several years old and never had a problem all those other cold winters! Guess I should have tried your ping pong ball last night!
We have a great TJMaxx here just a few minutes drive from the house. It has a section named "The Runway' which contains many designer named clothes. I'm not really into that but I do love their selection of cashmere sweaters (best selection in early Autumn) and have bought several at very good prices.
Sending hugs back from us both and hoping things are OK.
I love this collection of photos, it's hard to get pics of people looking natural but you have captured their mood completely. I am 65 next month and thinking about mortality a lot lately! I feel the same inside and so does my husband, but our bodies are changing and we are both having trouble adjusting to the older versions of ourselves! My advice to myself is 'don't overthink it' .
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head with your statement Betty - "having trouble adjusting to the older version of ourself". I do believe the early years of dealing with COVID and lockdown etc. was the start of adjustment for most of us in the older age brackets. We stopped our traveling and put things off around the house as nobody wanted to work. It all just seemed so much easier to say "let's deal with that tomorrow". Then, for me, hitting the 80's felt like another world appeared, a world perhaps I didn't belong in. Too old, too tired, not interested, too much effort required etc. I'm hoping this is just a short term hiccup for me - my husband continues to be his usual positive self - without him I'd be useless! Having the long term respiratory bug for almost two months hasn't helped. Although I usually love winter I'm hoping spring will come early this year...........and I'll get my "get up and go" back again!
DeleteStay well, cheer up and know you're not alone. Thank you for your kind comment on my photos. I've just popped over to your blog (and will Follow) and love what I see - will read more later.
Mary (a Brit in North Carolina)
Mary,
ReplyDeleteI have always thought your pictures were extraordinary, especially those you took on your travels near and far. Those, along with your beautiful descriptive writing in your blog posts would make for a great book. It's basically written! You struck a chord in me with everything you touched on with aging. I have a lot of health issues and constraints that keep me close to home and while back in the day I might make several stops in an afternoon, most times now I just want to get home and take off my shoes and snuggle with the dog. The only thing is: I haven't checked off all the things I want to do while I can! I don't know why Al and I didn't take more trips over the years-shorts trips. He worked for himself for goodness sake! So, before I get to comfy at home, I'm making lists of all the things I want to do and places I want to go. I was thinking of a little trip to Raleigh in the spring or going someplace warm to meet up with a lovely British gal I know for some leisurely time of shopping, dining, catching up, giggling, shedding a few tears, promising to do it again...
Not sure if you have my email still. blondiesjournal@gmail.com
xo,
Jane
Dear Jane - I'll be emailing you soon - lovely to see you here, thanks for the kind words.
DeleteDear Mary, these are wonderful photos - and you have seen a big part of the world!
ReplyDeleteGetting older makes me feel milder - in many ways, and that I enjoy. But I feel a lot of effort will be needed soon to stay fit.
You have a huge treasure of experiences to re-enjoy, and many new ones to enjoy this year. I wish you a happy 2024, dear Mary.
Thanks Britta. I guess the aging process hits us all eventually and I have to say it's not pretty!!!!
DeleteSun just popped out here so must walk a little - that's the most important way to keep going I believe - walk, deep breathing, good diet..............and a positive attitude!
Hugs - Mary
Women live around the world with their various works. They are shining. I hope their living conditions become better and stabler.
ReplyDeleteYour photographs of women are so gorgeous! Good luck getting a new roof. We had to do that a few years ago. It is spendy. Hope you end up having another wonderful adventure this year.
ReplyDeleteOlder and wiser, Mary - isn't that so! What wonderful photos - the beautiful women you have captured! Wow
ReplyDelete