We women and the future -

This morning I was up early despite the bitter cold. I had an appointment for lab work at the new medical practice we have signed up with. Our primary physician surprised us by retiring early at the end of 2023 so we had to search for someone new who was willing to take on older patients. Shortly after 9:30 AM I was on my way home again, craving coffee mostly as I had fasted for 12 hours for the blood draw. I considered a coffee shop, a quick breakfast place, or perhaps a grocery store stop for a few items for the veggie stew I'll be making today. I even considered a stop at T.J. Maxx as I passed by and recalled how I used to enjoy shopping, or rummaging through, in my younger days! 

But I didn't stop anywhere because I longed to just be home. I took the more scenic drive through quieter streets and it reminded me of what driving used to be like just about everywhere. Now the main thoroughfares are horrific and I no longer feel safe on them.  The houses are changing, small ones being replaced by new builds far too big for the average homeowner or family. Not much garden surrounds them for children and dogs to play in, it's all about the house.  The gardens have very little  color right now but they are still lovely in their winter neutrals, especially in the sunshine. The bird baths, frozen and sparkling, still entice the birds, and I splash mine with warm water on these cold mornings as the sparrows, finches and others sit quietly in the fig tree waiting to drink.

Yes, I did say my younger days because quite honestly I'm feeling different lately and I believe it's due to aging.  I used to do so much more with my time. I have now slowed down somewhat. You may recall that I've loved taking candid photos of women when traveling. I feel strongly about women and their place in this world of ours, a world getting harder for so many, when it should be better, easier, safer. 

Over the years I've taken many photos of women whose lives are much different than my own and I often go back into my photo archive, or revisit blog posts where they were featured, looking at these photos wondering if things have changed for them. Most seemed happy as they went about their daily lives..........but of course they, like me, are much older now.

Kerala, India

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Cochin, India

Kerala, India

London, England

Moscow, Russia

Hue, Vietnam

Niigata, Japan

Saigon, Vietnam

Hoi An, Vietnam

Zambia, Africa

Zambia, Africa

Laayoune, Western Sahara, Africa

Western Sahara, Africa

Sao Nicolau, Cape Verde Islands, West Africa

. . . . . .and here we are, in the second half of January already.  Our plans for this year are not quite etched in stone however we do have a list. The house needs some TLC including a replacement roof and we're busy getting estimates. As always, it's like comparing apples to oranges when you place said estimates next to each other. Daring young men clamber across the shingles, balance on the ridge vent, mark patches with chalk, and one flew a drone over the house last week. It hit a tree and fell on the front steps. He requested 'super glue' but that didn't work. He returned yesterday with a new drone which did a good job. Maybe we'll get that roof when the weather warms up.

By the light of the moon. . . . . . .

. . . . . . or the bedside lamp!

Do you sleep well?  Always a great sleeper until the mighty lifestyle changes of the past year came along, my nightly 7-8 hours were never disturbed and I'm told I rarely even moved, let alone turned over, all night long. Things have changed though and I never seem to sleep through the night any longer.  It's not so much the having to make a quick bathroom trip - that comes with age, taking medication, and the recommended drinking of a full glass of water before bed - it's the trying to get back to sleep again. On a recent night I spent almost two hours going through my life while hoping to fall back asleep. The history, the decisions made - both good and bad - the things I need to get done soon, the things I didn't do, but should have during this past useless year when time was abundant but spirit and energy was lacking. Perhaps I was beating myself harder than I should have.  After all, I'm no longer young and moving about pain free, or full of ebullient vitality and energy as in my younger days.

It feels part of the plan now. It goes with growing in the gray hair, wearing only comfortable shoes, pulling on jogger pants with elastic waistbands (even though jogging has become walking!), taking blood pressure pills, having two aspirin in a small plastic baggie close to the bed with instructions attached as to what with them if you're experiencing a heart attack, re-doing the Will, not planting young trees or slow growing shrubs, checking retirement communities and, God forbid, assisted living facilities, and whether or not to have the torn rotator cuff surgery. The list just goes on.

But, life also goes on as the list grows longer. There are good things ahead in old age too so perhaps I should write two lists.  Since getting my two COVID  vaccinations I'm beginning to feel better about life and the future. I'm ready to make plans again. I want to travel and have reservations made for going home to England this spring which I pray will be possible. I want to cruise again, do more short road trips in the USA - even though I've seen it all before I want to go again. I want to plant azaleas and hydrangeas along the back fence - they grow quickly if given TLC with sun and shade thrown in. I bought more daylily bulbs to plant for summer color, and soon I'll gather seed packets and fill pots with several types of basil and other summer herbs. Hopefully my good neighbor will supply the tomatoes again this year and I will make pesto!

All these things are keeping me awake at night - some good some bad. How about you - do you have sleep problems? Counting sheep does not work - but perhaps you have other tips to help one fall back into dreamland. . . . . . .and of course that's a whole other world to contend with. Yes, when sleep comes I dream a lot more than before!

We are having abundant sunshine at last, the ground is drying, trees are

 budding, bulbs are blooming, and the birds are singing and searching

 for nesting sites,

 I've yet another list of things to get done this week. . . . . . in the garden!

 

Sad news - childhood memories. . . . . . . . .

I left my home in England at what now seems such a young age. It was one week 

before I turned 19. Boarding that plane at Heathrow airport was my window 

to an exciting adventure which was to be short and sweet before returning home

 and settling down. However, the one year I expected to stay and

 work in the USA (Washington, D.C.) has now turned into fifty five! I still feel a pull

 to my original home across the pond, and guess I always will.

This Christmas season, as always, I sat for many hours spread over several days,

 writing cards. I love sending and receiving real cards for birthdays, special occasions, 

and definitely at Christmas. 

The cards I send to the UK have become a much smaller bundle now - many 

older family members and friends now gone, and my only sibling lives in France.

 I write a note inside, affix the international postage stamp, a holiday return

 address label, and address each one with thoughts of them eventually being

 dropped through a letter box across the pond.

 Most of these people reply with a lovely card - always lots of chubby English

 robins perched on holly, thatched cottages with lighted windows and such - but

 for several years I haven't heard back from my friend Carol, who was

 my next door neighbor for eleven of my special childhood years.

We shared the same birthday, she being a year younger, and many hours 

together doing what little girls do such as sewing and dressing our dolls. We spent

 hours on the beach after school, her mum meeting us with our swimsuits, towels

 and tomato sandwiches. We used to meet up now and then when I visited

 home and my family still lived next door to her family. The last time I

saw her was at my mother's funeral almost 15 years ago.  

People move a lot now. A card went off to Somerset as always in early

 December hoping it would reach her. . . . . a note enclosed saying how I missed
 hearing from her and hoped she would get in touch.

A couple of days ago I opened my e-mail and was heartbroken to read one
 from her older son, Andrew, whom I've not seen since he was a boy.

 He had received my card, forwarded by the post office, in which I'd tucked
 my e-mail address, and told me of his mum's death last year after his dad had
 also died  - both of them devastated over the loss of their younger son, a
 lifetime diabetic.
 He wrote such a nice note and attached some lovely photos. 
He apologized for not getting in touch earlier - apparently Carol's address book
 disappeared when she moved to a care home following her husband's death,
 and she had Parkinson's disease - and said he'd like to hear back from me.

One certainly pauses after news such as this, wondering when, how, why, we
  ourselves, will eventually die. I am so sad at the news, but also grateful that 
Andrew took the time to write to me. . . . . . . .and of course I will be writing back
 to him and sharing some of the history his dear mum and I shared as children.

Rewards of growing older . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . often include sweet cuddly babies.

I have a new title - I'm a Great Grandma now!

Yes, our sweet granddaughter Cassie and husband Richard

 are the proud parents of this gorgeous little boy, Colin Patrick.

Bob and I are somewhat amused, and extremely happy at becoming

 Great Grandparents. We just feel too young, but of course

 chronologically we're not!

Welcome to the big wide world Colin.

Meeting for the first time at the hospital. . . . . such a lovely feeling to hold

 a newborn baby. It's been a very long time.

When something is broken . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . the road of life can take a different turn.

There are often bumps, some so large they look like mountains.

Can you climb and reach the summit, plant your celebratory 

flag, then start back down and live life again as it 

used to be?

The not so nice things aging brings demand strength and positive feelings. 

When one has to overcome a physical challenge, we know we 

can't become that bonnie bouncing baby again, or the falling toddler 

jumping up, dusting itself off, and running away to play despite a scraped 

knee and perhaps hurt pride.

Are we able to regain the life we had perhaps 

just a short time back? Isn't that really all we want, expect?

ScreenDoor Antiques, Asheville, North Carolina

I do not have a broken bone, however a quite unexpected large tear of 
the labrum of my left hip has been diagnosed - courtesy of several x-rays and 
a classical music/jack-hammer playing MRI machine. 

This past month much time has been spent in doctors' offices, and in the 
competent hands of a physiotherapist who contorted my body in ways I've not 
experienced in years . . . . . but did nothing to alleviate the pain. 
However, pictures from the magical MRI machine tell all.

Last Thursday the orthopedic specialist questioned whether I've been 
playing too much ice hockey or dancing en pointe! This is often an injury found 
in athletes and ballerinas who do strange and beautiful moves with their hips.
Or, and here it comes, could I just be getting old and wearing out - yes I think 
that hits the nail on the head as I've not been in an accident or sustained a recent fall.

Last Friday, very early, and I mean before dawn, I dragged myself to the radiologist 
and my hip was injected with anesthesia and steroids. My pain has become 
intense over the past three months, sitting and lying down is awful, sleep difficult, 
walking not so bad thank goodness. I was able to enjoy the trip to Asheville with 
plenty of rest between the walking.
So what's next? 
I fear it will be either arthroscopic surgery with staples and thread, or perhaps a
complete hip replacement. 

Have you ever had hip surgery or a hip replacement?
My diagnosis is - Large Labral Tear of Left Hip.
Later, when I find out just what I may be facing, I'll be really interested 
in chatting with people who have undergone anything such as this. 
To date I have no bionic parts, but it's likely that might change soon.
 I'll be grateful for any info which might assist in making the right decision - this 
old gal wants to get her life back.