Parallel Lines - Springtime

This is an update on a previous post, I think!!!!
My poor old blog is playing tricks with me, probably

 because I'm not here often these days! 

Life doesn't always remain on the straight and narrow.
Curves are thrown.
Corners insist on making turns.
Lines spread wider, or narrower.  
Collisions occur.
Predictions don't always come true.
Life is not always how you want it.
Youth is precious.
Aging is not always fun.
There's no place like home.

Growing old takes courage. A lot of courage. Older adults can be overwhelmed by uncertainties.The future sometimes looks bleak. 'Live and let live' is not easy when all around seems to be falling apart and one feels that the end is perhaps nearer than once thought. It may be you, your spouse or partner, a family member, your best friend or neighbor. Eventually we each are faced with circumstances that we may feel unable to manage. We may struggle to adapt and move forward. We help in many different ways best we can. We don't lose hope. We encourage with words and deeds. We smile, laugh, pray.........and sometimes cry when nobody can see us. Life is so unpredictable. We don't plan to get old. We have to learn to adapt, to live one day at a time, and be grateful for kind family and friends. We do what we are still able to do no matter how insignificant those small things are, or how different they may be from what we were used to doing in those magical younger years.

The sun came up this morning and the first thing I noticed was its warmth and welcome in the upstairs hall. I took this photo, came down to my laptop, flipped open the cover, grabbed a cup of coffee and knew this was the day I would at last come back here.

Sadly, it's been far too long since I posted here but as my eighteenth year of blogging popped up recently I'm doing this quick post before this becomes another crazy day and the laptop remains closed down.

Update on Bob:  Bob's health issues continue. He completed the 2.5 months of chemo following major surgery, but the follow up scans show the cancer has reared its ugly head and spread. Following another mini-surgery we are now several weeks into a new treatment plan, immunotherapy. Two weeks on for infusions with one week off between. Lots of labs - he had a chest port inserted as his arm/hand veins are shot. Oncologist and assistant meetings are often. This will continue through early June followed again by CT scans and exploratory surgery.  The cancer center has become our second home. Appointments eat into our time and prevent any travel but we are grateful that the medical staff are welcoming and kind. We will continue to fight together in hopes we can beat this damn cancer.......and continue with gratitude for any years yet to come.

Please keep Bob in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you dear friends and readers. I'll try posting a more upbeat story soon.......on flowers, trees, blooms, the usual springtime notes bustling with garden stories.  We've been busy outdoors with re-painting projects, pruning and tidying up. Some paid help required but we don't mind as long as the garden looks lovely..........we spend a lot of time out there now!

Growing up in Devon -

 

This beautiful scene depicts part of my English childhood. Created in pastels after a visit to my home town, a dear friend now long gone, gave this to me so I would always remember where I came from and what I loved about the countryside where I spent so much time.  The tall oak tree in the center of the fields was one I often climbed in with my best friend. She and I would balance astride a sturdy lower branch, talk about our dreams and the future. These fields were where my mother and I would gather mushrooms early mornings . . . . . . before the dairy cows came out and trampled them. 

Much changed over the years before I decided to come to America. We grew up and my best friend became a hair stylist. I went to college and trained to be a secretary, remember them? We had boyfriends and danced in clubs. My mother worked several jobs and we gave up tramping through the damp fields, preferring to sleep a little later before going to work. My dad worked hard too, and my brother became a great tennis player whilst still in school, trained and played mixed doubles with Sue Barker as his partner - Brits reading this know who she is of course!

Growing up in another country, across a wide expanse of water, means your children and grandchildren may not spend a lot of time in your homeland. We took our children to England several times when they were young. Travel was much easier in so many ways. . . . . .or perhaps it seemed that way because we were younger, healthier, and the world was a much different place! They spent time with their grandparents and other family members. They met my school friends, neighbors and their families. We enjoyed English summer days at the beach, some sandy others pebbly, Devon has a selection of both. Outdoor afternoon tea, watching brilliant colored peacocks strut through the orchard gardens was fun. Viewing wild ponies run across the golden gorse smothered ancient landscape of Dartmoor was exciting to city children. 

One of my own favorite childhood memories is of summer Sunday afternoon picnics on the banks of the River Dart. The surrounding moor was always a special place. . . . . .and the weather was usually pleasant and cool compared to here in the US southeast. Writing this today in much too hot, close to 100 degrees, and in a severe drought, I have a deep yearning to be back home across the pond.

For me, there really is no place like home. Mine is still across the ocean despite having lived here many more years than there.  Off to grab a cold drink and then pull a salad together - too hot to cook, too hot for anything much. Hope your summer days are pleasant.  

Devon thatched cottages in Shiphay village where I grew up.

Lifestyle Changes -

I'm back from the trip home to England. During two and a half weeks of mixed weather I wandered around wondering why I ever left. I thought about all the visits I had made in the 61 years since I emigrated. Each was different because of the people who were waiting. The beauty of a place stays with one forever. When that beauty fades a bit feelings become mixed and muddled. One wants to hide under the covers and have a few tears. If only the parents were there still. Mum waiting at the window as the taxi pulled up and deposited me with luggage. . . . . . and an American accent getting stronger each time. Dad in his usual Harris Tweed jacket staring at my false eyelashes in the late 1960's and wondering "why". Brother growing taller and smarter, with hair longer than mine after heading to university. The house looked the same, even the shrubs in the garden hadn't changed other than get taller. The washing was still pegged out on the line despite Mum buying a little electric dryer "for rainy days" of which there are many! We rode the red double decker buses for years. We walked to the village pub up and down a couple of hills - good for shapely legs we were told. Bob apparently liked mine. We sat by the open fire on cold winter visits and took dips in the mild waters of Tor Bay in the summer. Traipsed though gorgeous National Trust gardens on open days, ending with Devonshire cream afternoon teas and cups of Earl Grey, sometimes in a country home, other times in an apple orchard.

Those were the days. These are the new days. I feel this last visit has given me a new perspective on my former life. Growing up in another country, one such as beautiful England, perhaps made me a different person when I came to live here. I did eventually learn to fit in. I have had a wonderful life with a great husband and family, however a huge part of my heart always remained behind and now and then I have felt perhaps I made the wrong decision all those years ago.

Today is my 80th birthday! This is really a very hard day for me because I don't feel anywhere near this age. Where have all the years gone? Am I living on borrowed time? What should I do with the years to come?  Life is filled with quite important questions now and I don't have the answers. Sometimes I feel I'm drowning in 'what ifs' and what will I do. I want to learn to live in the moment. Much relies on health and movement and so far I'm doing well in those categories. However, a lot is about using my days and time to do what I want to do while I can. I'm learning to say "no" and I don't want to be the organizer any longer. I need time for myself to wander, look more closely at nature, read more, photograph more and most of all write more.  

Thank you all who have followed this blog for so many years.  I don't have plans to close it any time soon. I do feel I haven't got enough time to post as often as I used to. Perhaps I'm just slower. I hope to write more about the past rather than the present, if that makes sense. I do have stories to share of travels and life both here and back in those days growing up across the pond. For now I'll say goodbye...........after all it's my big birthday and I haven't organized anything spectacular, other than trotting off to a favorite wine bar with a few people who might enjoy popping a cork and toasting those coming days with a chilled glass of champagne.  Wish you were here to join me!!!

Visiting home again -

Time is flying fast and we've already been here in my home town for a week.

Needless to say it has been really busy and will remain this way for the entire

stay.  Many family members and friends to visit, places to see, shopping

 being done for things English I still find hard to live without, and restful times

 to just sit and enjoy the scenery with a coffee mug, cup of tea, or a glass of

 wine, depending on the time of day.

Weather has been quite good, warm and sunny at first, now cooler and

a little damp with light showers and bracing breezes from the 

English Channel.

Some photos to show you where my "home, sweet home" is - all of these

 were taken in Torquay, Devon.

I'll try to get back here during the visit - if you don't see me here, just

know it's because I'm having too much fun!

This week - hot and hotter!

I long for the ending of this year's Summer season. It has been nothing but endless days of breathtaking dry heat. Carrying a water bottle is sensible. I usually forget mine, so end up with throat issues as I become dehydrated after just a short time outdoors. Yesterday we ran some errands in 102F, not smart. The heat shimmered across the concrete parking lots, getting back into the car was like plunging into a furnace. I was thankful for my air conditioned leather seats. We ended the afternoon in a favorite wine bar before heading to the house for supper. I ordered a crystal clear glass of icy cold rosé and requested a glass of water - he brought me a large chilled bottle.

The house is cool and walking in refreshing. Meals are quick with no long prep. Roasting, boiling, frying, not in the cards lately. Even a tomato sandwich with a slice of fresh mozzarella and a bright green salad is satisfying on a hot night.

I've done little around the house this summer. Need to downsize stuff. Editing knick knacks will be a winter project, again! That said I have a few new to me items on the walls!  My wonderful neighbor has moved. He and his kitty Ms. Nala, whom you may recall I often cared for when he traveled, have a new home. We will miss him being next door, but he'll be around a lot as he's keeping the house and renting it to a family member.  He gifted me with this beautiful antique mirror and two winter landscape paintings. He knew I always loved these when they hung in his house. He's kind and thoughtful and has always been there for us in the last ten years.

Meanwhile, I'm pulling out autumn/winter weight clothes for the upcoming trip across the pond. It will be cooler there for certain. I will love that. The collapsible rack is at the ready. I hang things there daily while deciding what I will pack later. Each day different items appear as others disappear back into drawers and closets. Decisions as to what to take - and fit into one suitcase - is the hardest part of a journey for me, and it never gets any easier!  Going home soon.
  

When I dig back through memory cells, I get one particularly distinctive feeling - and that's one of warmth, comfort and well-being. For whatever else I may have had, or lost, or will find - I've still got a hometown. This, nobody's gonna take away from me. 

Rod Serling

Home again -

Have to say going away in summertime is not the best idea when it

 comes to maintaining a garden.  

Granddaughter did what she could with some visits to check the house

 and drag the hose around in close to 100F. Not easy when we have

 such a vast amount of shrubbery and plants all calling out for a

 much-needed drink as the sun beats down day after day from that

 'Carolina Blue' sky. . . . . . . .and hardly a raindrop fell in the ten

days we were gone.

 

More stories from New England visit to come, meanwhile I'm off to turn on

 those hoses and do some serious watering this morning before it gets too

 hot. As you can see, the jolly golden sunflowers have passed their prime,

now look baked and dry. One can say that there's still a kind of beauty 

in the shriveled petals and leaves, aging brings patina and wrinkles to

 everything. . . . . . one has to accept this and know there's always

 next spring and early summer when at least the garden

will be renewed!

It's good to be home.

Time away -

The storm of Monday evening arrived so suddenly. 

It was a scary hour of terrific winds driving heavy rain, west to east.

Thunder so loud and close made the house shudder, art, foxed mirrors,

 sconces on the walls chattered and slid sideways.

The lightning was blue and made the night sky almost as bright as day.

The power popped on and off briefly but then stayed on in our area.

I ran out to move the cushions and decorative items on the porch

 but realized it was too late and not safe outside in such elements.

Thankfully they were still there, though tossed about, in the morning.

No trees down but Bob spent time picking up small branches, 

twigs and leaves scattered around the garden.

The storms of summer can be brutal just like the storms of life.

It's a bright morning.

We're packing again today and will be gone for a while.

Heading north is always a good feeling, especially in

 summer where we hope to enjoy some cooler weather, 

fewer late day storms, seeing old friends, the vast ocean,

the green mountains, the places where we lived so long ago.

Time goes by, often too fast, and we try to keep up.

This world spins. Life brings joy and sadness and this week

I'm experiencing both.

More stories another time. I sit here listening to gentle music

 for the ear, for the soul, but I must away. 

Early to bed tonight, up very early tomorrow for the airport!

At Home in January -

 

It's Saturday morning here and the living is easy! Only because it's too chilly to go out and be somewhere. Who needs to be somewhere else when home has everything required for warmth, comfort, wellbeing, happiness . . . . . .and freshly made coffee on the kitchen counter. 

I watch the neighbors across from us. They are fairly new and renting the house while their own is being demolished and a new one built. . . . . . . something going on all around the neighborhood. They have school age children who are involved in what seems like everything sport-related. By 10 AM they've been transported with their backpacks, gym bags and soccer balls, via two cars, to who knows where venues. Earlier the parents have picked up coffee by car from somewhere nearby. Do all young people buy readymade coffees and bring them home? Who then is purchasing all those fancy coffee machines we see advertised? 

Other neighbors without children but very 'sporty' - think tennis, soccer, gym - have also been back and forth in two cars. Meanwhile, we've read the paper, checked our phones, watched a little TV news, filled the bird feeders, taken photos of the many songbirds drinking from the bird baths, eaten our healthy breakfasts. . . . . . . and enjoyed enormous mugs of freshly brewed coffee a few steps away in the kitchen!

What I guess I'm thinking here is really this. . . . . . . . . perhaps we're getting old and becoming nosy peeping neighbors, despite not having lace curtains at the windows!  

Here's to your weekend whether you're out and about or, like us, just taking it easy at home.  Just enjoy.

Weekend Tulips

Recalling the colors, sounds and views -

 Here it is another weekend and I'm still chasing my tail! The heat of July is upon us, and yes it's unbearable for me. Late afternoon storms have brought some relief to the shrubs and flowers struggling as they always do at this time of year.

But my deeper thoughts are about home. 

The one across an ocean. 

The one where I recently visited

The one by the sea where the gulls fly overhead as the fishing boats bring

back the daily catch. 

Where the clouds temper the heat of the sun. 

Where friends of many years hug me as always and say they miss me.

Where family of an entire lifetime show their enduring love in many ways.

My roots are there in that corner of an island. 

Overlooking the bay and the English Channel beyond.

Until I can return again I have the photos, recollections, memories.

I'll do a few more posts about the trip to England so as to share more photos. 

I didn't take a camera other than my phone this time. 

Less to lug about with a painful shoulder issue, but not as good

 quality photos perhaps!

Have a super weekend wherever you chose to spend it.

I miss the longer Summer days enjoyed in Devon. 

Waking to bright sunshine at 5 am, strolling around the harbour

 on those long, beautiful evenings when the sun didn't set until

 almost 10 pm. . . . . .and no mosquitoes. Heavenly!!!